December 3, 2010
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The news hurts now.
The greatest phenomenon that a parent can experience is the ever-increasing strength of the bond with their child. I had always heard parents say they would do anything for their child, but it didn’t really sink in until I felt that way myself. It’s unlike anything else. It happens effortlessly right under your nose, and it was very gradual for me, NOT instantaneous as virtually everyone in history led me to believe. I’m one of the few people on Earth who will say the day my children were born wouldn’t rank as the happiest days of my life - Though obviously significant, I’ve had probably hundreds of days with Spencer and Erica that were happier, more satisfying, and more memorable. Halloween has always made significant contributions in that department. My wife agreed to marry me on Halloween. Spencer rolled over for the first time on Halloween on my parents’ living room floor while I ran the camcorder. Spencer won the Quincy Mall’s costume contest with a completely homemade Marc Antony costume courtesy of my wife’s endless dedication and creativity. This Halloween was no different as Spencer is now old enough to design his own pumpkin carving, and Erica is able to show a preference for a particular costume.
This year, Spencer wanted to dress as Spiderman, and Erica wisely chose the corresponding Spidergirl costume. Everyone had a good time and another Halloween was in the books. Then, several days later I was stopped cold when I saw this photo and read the accompanying news story:
This is Aaron Shannon Jr. Like Spencer, he is 5-years-old, and like Spencer, he liked showing off his Spiderman costume for his parents and grandparents in the backyard of his home in Los Angeles. But his family lived in a neighborhood somewhat known for gang activity, and just moments after this picture was taken, two gang members opened fire during a dispute in the alley behind Aaron’s home. Aaron was shot in the head and died several hours later. Because of the thoughtless, reckless stupidity of two men who will never grasp the pain they’ve caused, Aaron’s life is over before it‘s begun, and now the family must cope with a pain beyond anything I can imagine. Although, I can feel it more now, much more sharply than I ever did before. I think it is part of the empathy that all parents generally share. News stories or even fictional events that involve young children suffering in any way have become much more difficult to take. They are saddening and disturbing, but they will not cease nor will my disgust at hearing about them. All I can do is use these events as a reminder of how much I’ve invested in my children and how much they count on me and how I should never take my time with them for granted.
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